Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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