i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
