Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
