When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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