Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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