Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
