i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
