He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
