First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
