You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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