I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
