i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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