Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
