The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
