nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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