im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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