i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize