oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
