doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
