I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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