Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
