had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
