Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
