When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
