Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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