So drunk its hurt
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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