i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
