I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
