you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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