Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
