Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize