I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
