i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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