I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize