The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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