So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
