so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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