At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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