He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize