We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize