He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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