You really coming over, don't trick.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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