OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
