it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
