scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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