i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
