Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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