I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
