Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
