Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
