scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
