Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
