I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
