Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize