who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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