Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
