no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
