And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pants are for mortals
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize