I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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