So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
