so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
