Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
