maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my liver is dry heaving
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
