What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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