I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
