Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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