I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
