Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
