Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
