You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize