i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
