I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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