her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
