I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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